Tinatamad ako!

First and foremost, please sit back and spend some time admiring the new header of the blog. You like it?! I like it very much! Not bad for a first time photoshop user. :) (By the way, I am not the owner of that drawing I used on the header. I grab the image from a website noted on the header itself. Okay?!)

Also, please notice the little quirks and changes I did here and there. All of those are for your viewing pleasure my dear readers. :) One happy blogger here. And I’d like to thank the best friend for helping me iron out some bumps.

Anyway, I have loads of pending posts but I can’t find the energy to write about them. Tinatamad ako. Actually, I find myself saying that line more often these days. TINATAMAD AKO.

Tinatamad ako mag-work. Tinatamad ako bumangon. Tinatamad ako maligo. Char! :) Sa isang bagay lang ata ako masipag, at yun ay sa pagiging ina. Bawal kasi tamarin dun eh. Pero kung pwede lang, malamang!

Don’t get me wrong. I love my job. But lately, I’ve been dreaming of the day I could finally say goodbye to my 9-5 work week. I wanna be a stay-at-home mum. Naiinggit ako pag nagku-kwento si Mila ng mga kalokohan ni Skye. Mga kalokohan na hindi ko nakikita.

I don’t feel guilty like most mums. I feel…sad. I don’t feel guilty because I know I am doing this for her. I am working because I want her to have a comfortable life. I want to give her the best. And no matter what we say, in this world, the best is not free. So I feel sad because I have to do this.

And as I am fixing the files on my external hard drive, I found this picture…

Styled by Mrs. Joyce Iglesia-Orila

It was taken during a “photoshoot” for our “company magazine”. Our stylist Joyce showed us how to wear men’s shirt fashionably. I promise to look for the entire set of photos and blog them really soon. It was nice.

So anong konek nya sa sinasabi ko kanina?! Promise meron! Hahahahaha…

So anyway, seeing this photo. Seeing the old me. Made me realize how much my life has changed. Before getting pregnant, when I’m still envisioning myself as a fashionable sexy mum, I never thought I’d want to stop working. Actually, peg na peg ko ang working mum. I don’t want to stay at home. I am thinking, sayang naman ang 5yrs sa engineering. I know my best friend want that life and I understand her but I always thought it’s not for me.

The old Reigne always thought that she could go back to her original shape atleast 6 months post-partum. The old Reigne swore she’d never be losyang. The old Reigne thought that she’d still look like that girl on the picture only with a baby on her hips as an accessory. The old Reigne would want to continue her career and would strive to be climb up that career ladder. But the new and wiser Reigne know that those are difficult to achieve.

Most mornings, I’d hurry up at the shower. I’d fix Skye’s milk and the pumping gear. I need to feed the baby before leaving the house. I have so little time left to fix myself. I am always late because I can’t hurry up with a baby who wants to sleep by my side. Pag bumabangon ako ng maaga, maaga din sya nagigising at maghapon syang bugnutin.

And most of all, tinatamad ako. Tinatamad akong bumangon. Tinatamad akong maghanap ng OOTD. Tinatamad akong mag make up. I want to say goodbye to my 9-5 work week because then I can be in my jammies the entire day, with messy hair and stained top. I’ll have an excuse.

At work, I just do what I need to do and nothing more. In my 4years of stay on that company, I have already received 3 Above&Beyond Awards and 2 QA Excellence awards. Because I always give my heart to every project. That last major project I did, while pregnant with Skye no less, is a success. No bugs on production! A first.

So imagine how awful I feel right now because TINATAMAD AKO. Ugh! Hindi ako to eh.

Noon, I just feel tired. Exhausted. Stressed. Now, tinatamad ako. And that is not good. I need to fix this!

I’ll start by making sure that I look pretty and fashionable tomorrow. There’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a fashionable wardrobe. Nothing.

:)

And I’ll post the OOTD on my Instagram. Or better, blog about it real soon.

Musings