Patience Running Low

The past few days, I find myself getting frustrated with the #FabSkye. Well, I'm kinda busy with work and blog and her homeschooling stuff so the little things really ticks me off.

Also, she's becoming more and more daldalera and would ask endless questions. She wants us to watch her dance, sing and act. She would talk and try to get my attention while I'm on a conference call. She would ask for her iPad even if she knew that she can't use her iPad until she's done with her Eye-Level worksheets and the worksheets I prepare for her everyday.

She's becoming more defiant. She also questions my rules now.

Why do I have to sit while the car is moving Nanay?
Why can't I talk to you when you're on a call?
Why do I have to be quite while you're working from home?
Why do I have to clean up my mess everyday? I already cleaned it yesterday.
Why can't use my iPad now?!!
Why do I have to finish all these homework?
I'm too tired to write. I want my iPad.

My daughter who never dares questions me and would just follow me is gone. Dati, if I tell her, stop iPad coz it's study time; she would give her iPad to me and would go willingly to her study table. Walang arte.

Dati, if she can't get what she wants she'll cry for a few minutes and then stop na. Now, hindi na pwede yung basta bawal. I have to explain to her now why bawal. Why did I get mad. I have to explain to her the repercussions of her actions.

Most days, she get it. Most of the time she totally understand why I got mad. But there are days when I really have to explain further. And on those times, nauubos ang pasensya ko.

I found myself shouting more and more these days. Though I try to be calm, may mga araw na wala. Wala talaga. Like today.

I worked from home because of the heavy rains and her yaya's not around. I've been working from home since yesterday and I swear if ako lang talaga, I prefer to work at the office kasi here at home ang haba haba ng oras ko. There are distractions kasi and my major distraction is her.

Kanina I was on a call with the rest of my team and we're discussing some issues. She heard me say "bye" and so she butt in and said bye as well.

I've always been very very strict about my rule with her na bawal syang mag butt in on my conversations. But lately, she's doing it ng mas madalas. So triggered talaga ako.

There's really no harm done because my team knew that I have a daughter and most of the time they would hear her on the background during our calls. They also find her cute. But rules are rules and so I had to reprimand her.

Nakakapagod mga besh. Nakakaubos ng energy magpagalit sa bata. And now, she would cover her face kapag alam nyang galit ako. Eh rule ko din that she should always look at me when I talk to her except pag homeschooling time because she has to look at the worksheets only.

Kakainit ulo. I was initially calm nung nagsasabi ako why it's not good to interrupt when I have a call pero parang deadma. I know di maganda that you shout at your kids pero di na talaga keri ng katawang lupa ko besh.

Wala na kong pasyensya talaga. And I feel really bad about that.

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So far, my daughter's turning out to be a good kid. I know that these are just small things. But this small things matter. Sabi nga dun sa ni repost ko sa FB page ko, di pwedeng i-deadma ang mga small stuff na to because they could cause some major issues in the future.

I think I just need to pray for more patience. Kasi lately, nagkakaubusan na talaga. Di ko na keri. And honestly, I don't think effective ang discipline pag lagi kang galit. Haaaaaay! Nakakalokang tunay.

#FabSkyeOOTD #NanayMoments Skye